— The Miz (after being asked about The Rock)
Popular wrestlers require "mic skills," meaning the ability to speak well on the microphone. It is through their speeches and interviews that they can get the fans emotionally involved in upcoming matches.
Some wrestlers, like John Cena or Stone Cold Steve Austin, use signature catchphrases for fans to chant with them. On the other hand, "heel" wrestlers (bad guys) often criticize the crowd to elicit a negative response.
"Can you dig that... sucka?!" - Booker T
"I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be." - Bret "the Hitman" Hart
"I am the best in the world at what I do!" - Chris Jericho
"Viva la raza!" - Eddie Guerrero
"Latino Heat/Viva La Raza" - Eddie Guerrero
"Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamanina and my 24-inch pythons run wild on you?!" - Hulk Hogan
"It's gonna be a slobberknocker!" - Jim Ross
"Oh it's true, it's damn true" - Kurt Angle
"To be the man, you have to beat the man." - Ric Flair
"Wooo" - Ric Flair
"Road Warrior Hawk" - Ohhhhh, what a rush!
"And thats the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!" - Stone Cold Steve Austin
"Give Me a Hell Yeah!" - Stone Cold Steve Austin
"If you smell...what the Rock...is cookin" - The Rock
"You will go one on one with the Great One!" - The Rock
"Who in the blue hell are you?" - The Rock
"Finally...The Rock...has come back to (whatever city he's in at the time)" - The Rock
"The Rock is ‘The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment!" - The Rock
"The Rock’s gonna take your monkey ass down to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive and check you in to the Smackdown Hotel!" - The Rock
"The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if yall dont like me you can kiss the peoples ass!" - The Rock
"I am the Game!" - Triple H
"You're Fired" - Vince McMahon
"Woo Woo Woo You Know It!" - Zack Ryder
— Cm Punk (via all-wrestling-quotes)
— The Miz (via themizdaily)
The Rock to Cops: "The Rock has four donuts for you big fat pieces of trash!"
"The only people who try to tell you that you can’t do something, are the people who have failed"
— Chris Jericho (via all-wrestling-quotes)
— Josh Matthews (via all-wrestling-quotes)
— The Rock (via all-wrestling-quotes)
— The Miz (after being asked about The Rock)
"He smells good. Thank you Alex. Thank you for saying I smell good."
— Alex Riley and The Miz
— Alex Riley and The Miz
The legacy of The Miz is going to be like this. I am the guy that worked the hardest and dedicated himself each and every day. When people say this job is too hard or we’re on the road too much, I’m the guy saying ‘I need more media’ and ‘I need more outlets’ and ‘Give me every spot you have.’ My legacy will be that not only will I be the greatest, most WWE Champion in the history of this company, but you will remember The Miz as WWE. You will no longer think of The Rock or Stone Cold Steve Austin or Hulk Hogan or any of those top names. You will think of The Miz."
— The Miz (via lionsault-)
— The Miz (via themizdaily)
Jim Herd is a complete idiot."- Jim Cornette, Dynamite D's WrestleTalk show, 1991
Disgraceful. That's no way to treat the mayor of Tacula, Mexico."- Bobby Heenan speaking about a vignette that showed Ted DiBiase berating a homeless Mexican man in front of Tito Santana's childhood home, WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 1991
"Isn't that Tito Santana's sister? Arriba McIntyre?" - Bobby Heenan on Reba McIntyre, WWF's choice to sing the national anthem at WrestleMania 8, WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 1992
"She's 27 but looks 37."- Sunny on Sable, 1998. 27?? Sable was 27 about 27 years ago.
"Last night this girl came knocking on my door at midnight. Finally, I let her out."- Gene Okerlund, WWF All-American Wrestling, 1989
"What are you doing, looking at me with one eye and chasing a fly with the other?"- Bobby Heenan to the cross-eyed Jameson, The Bobby Heenan Show, 1989
"You're 83? Really? You don't look it! I would've guessed 81, or 82." -Bobby Heenan, The Bobby Heenan Show, 1989
"Look at us! We've reduced ourselves to wearing overalls!"- Jesse James to the Godwinns, WWF Raw, 1998
"I look like Vince Neil over here!"- Kevin Nash when looking into the announcers' booth monitor, WCW Nitro, 1996
"In the immortal words of Judas Priest, 'You got another thing coming!'"- Jesse James, WWF Raw, 1998
"I'll see you at Beach Brawl, Madusa!" - Missy Hyatt, WCW Main Event, 1992, promoting Beach BLAST, not Beach Brawl
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go backstage. I'm proud of myself, I just beat Brad Armstrong!"- Arn Anderson, WCW Saturday Night, 1992, in the classiest display I've ever seen of someone putting over an underrated mid-carder that everyone in the locker room knew deserved better than the push he got.
"Benoit & Malenko rule the world, Nash."- Chris Jericho, Metal-Sludge.com interview, 2001
"I said ANgina, Howard, not VAgina."- Kurt Angle, the Howard Stern Show, 2002
"That's obsolete." - Booker T's response to Stuttering John when asked how much money he makes, the Howard Stern Show, 2002. Someone please give Booker T a dictionary for Christmas.
"ECW Fruit Salad: Peaches with Melons" - ECW Sign Guy, referring to Sandman's wife (Peaches) new breast surgery, ECW house show, 1994. Funniest sign I've ever seen.
"He's not particularly ball-hairy."- Steph McMahon on HHH, when asked if he shaves his ball hair, the Howard Stern Show, 2002
"Buy the stock!!"- Bryan Alvarez on WWFE's stock price just before Nitro went to 2 hours, Wrestling Observer Live, late '99/early '00. Ummm, good advice, Bryan.
"Anyone who says Ric Flair is washed up as a worker can eat it." - Dave Meltzer reviewing a Flair-Savage PPV match, 1995
"They're pissed at him. They see him as Hulk Hogan's job boy."- Paul Heyman on ECW's chants of "Flair is Dead," 1994
"The NBA Dream Team could kiss our ass!" - Paul Heyman on his star-studded Dangerous Alliance, Pro Wrestling Torch Interview, 1992
"Stick the fork in Pork Chop, he's done!" - Gorrila Monsoon on several occasions, on jobber Pork Chop Cash.
"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." - Jesse Ventura on several occasions
"What's wrestling about? It's about a bunch of sweaty men fighting over honor, pride, over women- sex, drugs and rock and roll. Brian Gewirtz has never been laid, he's never been to a club-he's a geek he plays Dungeons and Dragons. The best work he ever did was writing for Edge and Christian when they were geeks. He doesn't know what he's writing about." - Raven, No Holds Barred Radio Show, 2003. I didn't know wrestling was about women, sex, and drugs. Maybe behind the scenes, but what does that have to do with writing wrestling shows?
"You would think we'd get along. I'm a comic book reader, but I'm also a recovering drug addict, alcoholic. From the time I was 15 until I was 35 I was out every night. I couldn't even count the amount of women I've slept with, so you have to understand the dynamic. I've probably been in a hundred fights over the years....(Gewirtz) never picked up a weight, never been in a gym. All these things are important aspects because wrestling is a hyper evolved, psudeo simulation of war. Fighting over pride, honor all these elements that are grandiose themes, it's operatic in nature and Brian, has never been a part of that his whole life. It's not impossible to write about it, but the intensity is not there." - Raven, No Holds Barred Radio Show, 2003, proving that in wrestling, you're considered abnormal if you're sober.
"I've been world champion more times than you've had pieces of ass" - Ric Flair on his feud with Syxx, WCW Nitro, 1997 (thanks to Sam Nord)
"If you put the letter S in front of Hitman, you have my exact opinion of Bret Hart". - Steve Austin, 1997 (thanks to Dynamite Kid Fan)
"Hey Tony [Schiavone],I'm glad to see you back, especially after seeing your front." - Jim Cornette (thanks to OlCarolina Boy)
"I heard last year at [insert name]'s birthday party they had to set up mirrors to make it look like a crowd." - Jim Cornette (thanks to OlCarolina Boy)
"That guy has a mouth so big he could whisper in his own ear." -Jim Ross on Jim Cornette (thanks to OlCarolina Boy)
"You should have the Rock n Roll Express arrested! Last week they came out here and killed your ratings!" - Jim Cornette to Bill Watts, WCW Saturday Night and Mid-South, 1992 and 1984
"I respect you, bookerman." - Brian Pillman to Kevin Sullivan (thanks to BobFreemanshow.com)
"Well the sk-skeptics and all the people have a little bit of...I'm sorry, can we do that again?"
"We're live, pal!" - Conversation between Sid and Jim Ross before one of the first IYH PPVs (thanks to asey Jones & James W.)
"Tommy, try to understand that I am but a fouled experiment in human sociology, and I can accept that, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine there would be other wrestlers taking dives onto concrete floors, committing human suicide on my behalf--like I'm the patron saint of all sick sons of bitches.
Is that all I stand for, Tommy? Is that all I stand for, to stand in an arena where J.T. Smith lands head first on the concrete and hears the fans yell, 'You ****** up, you ****** up?' Well, **** you. Who the hell do you think you are? We're not a wrestling organization anymore, we're the world's biggest damn puppet show."- Mick Foley on Tommy Dreamer, ECW TV, 1995 (thanks to PeteF3)
"I'd say, 'Hey Mikey, look at the leaves turning colors, the beauty of the fall foliage.' But you were too cool to care, weren't you Mikey??! I'd say, 'Mikey, here is a cassette that means a lot to me, and if you listen to the words, it might change your life, too.' Mikey took that tape out and said, 'Who's Leonard Cohen?' and put in the satanic music of Ozzy Osbourne, and expected me, as a parent of two, to stand there and take it??!
"Mikey, I know you don't have money. So I paid the tolls, I gave you money for food. And what did you come across? Nothing that would make you into a world champion. I can count every time...Doritos. If you want to ruin your body, then that's fine. But when you don't need Cactus Jack anymore, and you were able to get a ride for yourself, those Doritos stayed there, and haunted me until I couldn't take it anymore! FOR GOD'S SAKE MAN, DON'T YOU REALIZE I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER??!" - Mick Foley explaining why he destroyed his former tag partner and travel buddy Mikey Whipwreck, ECW TV, 1995 (thanks to PeteF3)
"Where's your brother, Cousteau? Is he sitting there at home, lying in bed with his mama or something?" --Bobby Eaton to Jacques Rougeau in Memphis. Cracked me up for some reason. I think that's the only memorable thing Eaton ever said. (thanks to PeteF3)
"Earthquake and Typhoon like to throw their weight around. That's okay...we like to throw their weight around, too."-- Road Warrior Hawk (thanks to PeteF3)
"Nature Boy...what's that? Do you run around in the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?" --Roddy Piper to Ric Flair (thanks to PeteF3)
"If you were going to give the United States of America an enema, then you'd stick the hose right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania." --Bret Hart (thanks to PeteF3)
"As President, I will institute a procedure in which all convicted criminals will have this brass ring will be surgically implanted into their foreheads--Americans have a right to know who they can trust. I don't care if you're 5, 6, or 7 years old, if you're a first-time offender, you're gonna go to Purgatory and it's not gonna be fun!" --Bob Backlund (thanks to PeteF3)
Mean Gene: "Sherri how can you say that about a missing person."
Sherri Martel: "I said she was missing, I didn't say anything about her (Sapphire) being a person." (thanks to Paul Buchannan)
"... the old Arn Anderson! The one that is NOT politically correct! That one that WILL slap his granny in the mouth for fifty cents! The one that WILL start a fight in the parking lot and bring it into the building!" - Arn Anderson, 1994 (thanks to REBSCAGER)
"The only bones you're fit to chew on are Past-Your-Prime Ribs." - Cactus Jack on Junkyard Dog, WCW Main Event, 1991
"I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater." --Rick Rude (thanks to IWarrior)
"It's class that counts, and it's written all over me"-Buddy Rogers (thanks to IWarrior)
"Turners organization has no idea how to make a star... All they can do is buy..."- Vince McMahon, AOL Chat 8/20/98 (thanks to James Guttman)
"The pinnacle of this icon garbage came in last night's cage match between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper...WCW had the gall to say this was the greatest cage match in history...You've got a 46 year old bald movie star wannabe, who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build, taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years. It's a tribute, in my mind, to the massive egotism of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policy that this match even took place, much less in the main event, when the card was probably the best WCW is capable of having. At the ten-minute mark, they were sucking wind so bad the first three rows passed out of oxygen depravation. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad... I'm sick of guys claiming to be the icon especially when it usually comes from guys who just didn't know when to quit. Roddy Piper was my idol when I was a teenager, but that was 20 years ago. Hulk Hogan during his best years was 50% media creation and that was long gone. This match was a slap in the face to every wrestler that takes pride in his profession... On a personal note to Hulk Hogan, you are a household word but so is garbage and it stinks when it gets old too."- Jim Cornette, Monday Night Raw 10/27/97 (thanks to James Guttman)
"You mean the Stone Cold rip off?"- Vince McMahon on Goldberg, AOL Chat 8/27/98 (thanks to James Guttman)
"If you're asking if I would ever date a wrestler, certainly I would. However it wouldn't be good business for me to get romantically involved with anyone in any aspect of our business."- Stephanie McMahon, Off the Record, 8/3/99 (thanks to James Guttman)
"Eat your heart out Sable" - Kevin Nash on Spring Break Nitro w/ Torrie Wilson (thanks to the Meatball)
"Talk about a class act, by the way, last night's low impact aerobic cage match, the subject matter allegedly involved some icons. Let's go to Jim Cornette."- Vince McMahon, Monday Night Raw, 10/27/97 regarding Hogan/Piper (thanks to James Guttman)
"There are a lot of "bi" things I am, but bilingual's not one of them" -Triple H, 1998 (thanks to Todd Martin)
"*pant* *wheeze* Patience Warriors *huff*" - Ultimate Warrior (thanks to Matt Mazany)
"Look at him, he's half queer."- The Rock commentating on HHH's match (thanks to MisaSue)
"I'm going to make you go into that cage and dance like the slut that you are."-Konnan to Don West, 2003 (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"You're not going to make a living flipping people off Steve."-Joey Styles on Steve Austin flipping off the crowd (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"He's a big man, he looks the part, but he's a piece of ****" - Dynamite Kid on Sid Vicious, Dynamite Radio, www.dynamitekid.com (thanks to HB2KBuzzsaw)
"I told you I had reservations about fightin' that Indian"--about a million Caucasian guys bitching to their managers after they were beaten by Native American wrestlers. (thanks to Britt Whitmire)
"By the time he gets to the ring, it will be Wrestlemania 38." - Bobby Heenan on The Iron Sheik before the Gimmick Battle Royal,Wrestlemania X7 2001. (thanks to Apollo Capistrant)
"Check out the biceps on him." - Jesse Ventura on Alice Cooper. (thanks to Apollo Capistrant)
"And to Hogan,You think I can not cut the mustard with the rest of the NWO, Well Hogan,YOU SUCK PAL! You've got Eric Bischoff so far up your ass, he'll taste what you had for breakfast!" -X-Pac responding to Hogan's comments on him at WCW's Thunder. Day after Wrestlemania, 1998. (thanks to Apollo Capistrant)
"I ain't Buffy, but I'm gonna slay a vampire!" - Road Dogg Before a match with Gangrel,1998. (thanks to Apollo Capistrant)
"I'll put a cowboy boot up your ass if you don't shut up!" - JR to Cole During JR's short heel turn. (thanks to Apollo Capistrant)
"I am the first co Intercontinental and European champion, except for D'lo Brown, but he doesn't count." - Kurt Angle after becoming a dual champion. (thanks to Apollo Capistrant)
"It doesn't take much to be kind... but it takes an awful lot to be mean!" - Bobby Eaton, according to Tom Zenk, who had asked Bobby why he was so nice. (thanks to Bob Freeman)
"Their look is so Bushwackers 2000!"-Edge and Christian, on The Dudley Boyz (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"We're going to do what's called a "run-in"."-Edge and Christian, moments before attacking The Hardy Boys (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Two ugly people looking at each other, that's fun."-Bobby Heenan, during the opening moments of the Bret Hart/Roddy Piper match (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"I like that music."
"You probably like heartburn too."-Monsoon and Heenan, discussing "El Matador" Tito Santana's entrance music (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Remember the old wrestling school saying, what the hell use the bell!"-Bobby Heenan during the Piper/Hart match (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"I'm Indiana's favorite Bobby!"- Bobby Heenan before the first match at WM8 (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"I would take that ugly mask right off his ugly face, and break that ugly nose one more ugly time."- Bobby Heenan, when asked what he would to to Virgil (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"You would rather cheer for a man who prances around in a feather boa, like a filthy-panced tart!"-William Regal on Hulk Hogan, WWF Raw (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Oh come on, Boss Man's mother could have counted that fast!"- Bobby Heenan, WrestleMania VII (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"When you feel that lump in your throat it won't be emotion, it'll be your liver!"-Mick Foley, to Sting (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Your favorite color is rainbow, and you can't even think straight."-John Cena to San Francisco during a house show (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"The last time I saw her, she was in good hands."-X-Pac, chiding HHH about the rumors of Steph's and Kurt Angle's romantic involvement, the Raw after Summerslam 2000 (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Please God, let Flair win and I'll never do anything bad again."-Bobby Heenan, Royal Rumble 1992 (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"You talk about your psalms, you talk about your John 3:13, well Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!"-Steve Austin, King Of The Ring 1996 (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Everytime he goes to take a drink the toilet seat closes on his head."-Jerry Lawler on Terry Funk (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"Here's a couple that have produced more tragedies than Shakespeare!"-Jerry Lawler, introducing Stu and Helen Hart (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"He just hit a dumbell with a dumbell!"-Jerry Lawler during the Owen Hart/Ken Shamrock "Dungeon" match (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"The fate, the very fate, of WCW, is in my hands!"-Vince McMahon, opening the last Nitro (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"I'm Joel "Harder than the tree that killed Sonny Bono" Gertner"-Joel Gertner (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"All I have to say is our partner is going to shock the world, because he is none other than 'The Shockmaster!'"- Sting, before the infamous "Shockmaster" would run out and fall on his face (thanks to Justin Newbould & James W.)
"Buckweat on crack."-Tajiri, describing Booker T's appearance during the "shampoo commercial angle" (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"That lame-ass crap ain't gonna get it done here."-Joey Styles, after Mikey Whipreck had kicked out of a Steve Austin big boot and legdrop (thanks to Justin Newbould)
"It was not a pretty match" - J.R. on HHH Vs. Steiner from Royal Rumble 2003 HB2kBuzzsaw
"1998 called, they want you back." - Edge to X-Pac, 2002. Does that mean one day, 2002 will call and want Edge back?
"And there he is, kissing the queen of the Weight Watchers." - Bobby Heenan on Roddy Piper hugging a heavy set female fan, WWF Main Event, FOX, 1992
I've been told point blank by someone who would be considered one of HHH's best friends in the company that he had it out for Jericho from day one. - Dave Meltzer, WrestlingClassics.com message boards, 2003
Vince McMahon is responsible for the company's success and non-success. It all stops with him. But he is listening to the wrong people for direction, and HHH is one of those wrong people, because he buries the ability of people to be in a top position, and thus, Vince doesn't see them in the light where they can draw money. Even though, HHH's money drawing days appear to be over. - Dave Meltzer, WrestlingClassics.com message boards, 2003
"The best worker in the US... and it sure ain't Bret Hart. It's Sabu." - Dave Meltzer, an issue of the Observer from '94 or '95. Wow, Paul Heyman was such a good booker back then that he really had us all fooled.
"They say Paul E. has wavy hair. The problem is, it's waving goodbye." - Jim Cornette, Dynamite D's WrestleTalk show, 1991
"When you're not the lead dog, the view never changes." - Konnan to Kevin Nash (immediately after Nash turned on him, and laid down for Hogan to win the WCW title). Kevin Nash to Konnan in response:
"How was your view all these years?" (thanks to the Meatball)
"Just lay down, and I'll take care of the rest." - HHH to Ric Flair, WWE Monday Night Raw, 2003, but could have been said to anybody ever around HHH (thanks to the Meatball)
"Look! My butt can do tricks!" - Vince McMahon, from the first induction of the kiss my ass club, WWE Monday Night Raw (thanks to the Meatball)
"He's a natural blonde...I just don't know why he dyed his eyebrows"--Joey Styles on Chris Candido (thanks to Britt Whitmire)
"Bischoff's a ****!!"-Terry Funk, attempting to coax Cactus Jack into a fight. (thanks to Britt Whitmire)
"He couldn't draw money if you dipped him in glue and drug him through Fort Knox." - Jim Cornette on Konnan, some kind of shoot in an interview. (thanks to Ronnie Pruitt)
"Go get that title off that sawn off midget Chris Jericho." - HHH, WWF Raw, April 2000, or possibly upon his return to WWE last January I'm not really sure (thanks to Chris Gannon)
"I never thought I'd have to say this, but weasel your way out if you have to!" - Bobby Heenean (on commentary to Ric Flair after Gorrilla noticed that Flair had been in the ring for 45 minutes) Royal Rumble 1992 (thanks to Chris Gannon)
"One guy I'd pick right away among a lot of guys, he has the potential of being the most liked individual in the country- Hawk. He could be the biggest babyface ever, the answer to Hogan. He has that likable, lovable quality to him." - Terry Funk in a Torch '92 interview, making me feel happy that he never became WCW booker, and at the time I was hoping he would be
"Another jerk is Owen Hart. I'll say that to his face. I know a lot of people are going to read this and if the wrestler himself doesn't read this, it will get back to him." - Konnan in a '94 Torch interview
"I used to see him on TV and I used to hate him. I used to think what a good looking ***. I've always hated most guys that are good looking that kind of look feminine because we used to beat those guys up when I was young. They just spend all the time looking at themselves in the mirror. They attract a lot of girls. That was a definite beating up." - Konnan on Brian Pillman, '94 Torch interview. Konnan has horrible luck when picking guys to badmouth. His anti-American comments after 9/11 were in bad taste, too.
"Bischoff did tell me one time he didn't know how to market me. That was a few months before I was fired. He told me, 'You know, we've gotta do something with you. You come out there in your black boots and your black trunks an we don't know what to do with you. We can't sell any dolls of that.'" - Steve Austin in a '95 Torch interview
"If the Rock hits you, you'll die. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will be so strong, it will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway." - The Rock, Raw Is War 08/02/99 (thanks to Rockie)
"I'm not gonna let a guy like Triple H, a guy that tore his quadriceps... I mean he was out for eight months! I tear my quadriceps all the time! I tore it this morning, I'm fine, I'm here, I'm jumpin' around." -- Kurt Angle, Raw 1/07/02 (thanks to Rockie)
"Canada is lacking two things. It's true. Don't make me say it again. The first is Olympic Heroes [...] The second thing that Canada is lacking is Memorial Day, which is today by the way, where we in the States celebrate our war heroes by having barbeques . And I realize here in Canada you can't have barbeques because you'd probably be attacked by a moose, or caribou, or even a grizzly." -- Kurt Angle (thanks to Rockie)
"These are people who made Jeff Foxworthy a millionaire. They're not brain surgeons." -- Jerry Lawler on the Alabama crowd on the 3/21/05 edition of Raw
"Panties aren't the best thing in the world, but they are next to it!" -- Jerry Lawler (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"If this is a dream, why aren't there more girls?"- Jerry Lawler (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"Dusty Rhodes spends a lot of time in the gym to stay in top physical condition." -- Lord Alfred Hayes, 1990 Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"Ric, maybe you & Arnold Schwarzenegger-Conan the Republican-can get together & bench press the deficit." -- President George Bush (Sr) to NWA World champion Ric Flair, at a political fund raiser in Charlotte, NC for Sen. Jesse Helms, 6/20/1990 (thanks to Sven Hozz)
WWE.com: One of the things about having this much time off is that it would give somebody a chance to plan a wedding.
Lita: That hasn't been talked about at all. But at the same time I think we're (Matt and I) the type of people who don't need a ring or a piece of paper to know how much we care about each other.- Lita, during her neck injury recovery in 2002. Ironic indeed. (thanks to Didi Jones)
"Mr. Orton, it seems to me, I need to reintroduce your brain to your mouth, because your speakin' out your ass!"
-- Jake Roberts to Randy Orton, 3/14/05 edition of Raw (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"That canvas is not covered in BBQ sauce. It CAN'T taste good!" -- Jim Ross during Rockers/Resistance match, 3/14/05 edition of Raw (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"I'm going to get Hannibal Lector to train me. Yeah! Do you know why? Because I'm going to eat Christy alive! You understand?" -- Trish Stratus, 3/14/05 Raw (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"No one will remember you tapping out to Chris Benoit! Squealing like a pig........crying like a baby............" - Ric Flair speaking to HHH, before HHH cuts him off, 3/14/05 Raw (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"Stunning Steve Austin is the next franchise wrestler in this industry. Make no mistake about it, he is, and nobody but nobody can take that away from him. It's good job security when you are going to be a major part of the next decade of this business and Steve Austin is going to be a major part of the next decade." -- Paul Heyman, Pro Wrestling Torch Annual V interview, Summer 1992
"You saw what Mr. Perfect did to Santana. He turned him into taco meat. As for Tugboat, he'll go down like an old scow in a hurricane. And Beefcake would be just that-a piece of cake for Mr. P." Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. WWF Magazine Interview. Aug. 1990. (thanks to Sven Hozz)
"Dammit he just threw a tricyle! Sports Entertainers don't throw tricycles!!" - Jim Ross, during a Raven/Al Snow hardcore match (thanks to Paul S.)
"I go from zero to horny in about 3.5 seconds when I hear her music." -Jerry Lawler on Christy Hemme's music (thanks to Didi Jones)
"5 letters - 2 words: I QUIT" - Gordon Solie on Clash of the Champions 9, hyping the Flair-Funk "I Quit" match that evening (thanks to Vinnie Carolan)
"These two guys should get together and open a restaurant. They can call it 'Nacho Mama.'" - Jim Cornette, commentating a mid 80s squash match with an African American jobber and a Mexican jobber (thanks to Vinnie Caroloan)
In the Memphis area, mid-70's, there was a team Phil Hickerson and Al Greene--two BIG, HEAVY guys. On an interview, Jerry Lawler referred to them as "The Tank Brothers...Sherman and Septic." (thanks to Jeff Archey)
"The kid's so skinny he could tread water through a garden hose." - Jim Cornette on Kendall Windham, during an 80s TBS squash (thanks to Jeff Archey)
On GCW in the mid-80s, some guy (Ken Patera?) was doing the strongman stuff of breaking cement blocks over his head. (I mean, he'd balance the block on his head and someone would smash it with a sledge hammer.) For some reason, the Freebirds were assisting. As they positioned the block, Terry Gordy looked right into the camera and said, "Now all you kids be sure and try this at home." Gordon Solie nearly had a cow trying to backpedal. (thanks to James Hold)
Again, mid-80's Mid-South: Adrian Street is being interviews by Boyd Pierce. (Pierce incidentally was the greatest "five minutes" announcer ever.) Anyway Pierce was offended at everything about Street and finally in exasperation said, "But wrestling is the sport of kings!" To which Adrian replied, "Yes, but a queen rules England." (thanks to James Hold)
"You're just mad because all of my elves are taller than you. Now get get out of here you're ruining Santa's Christmas party" - Bubba Claus (Bubba Ray) to Tazz, Raw December 24 2001. (thanks to Gerard Martin)
"If (Gerry) Brisco's an elf, is Pat Patterson a fairy?" - Jim Ross, Raw December 24 2001. (thanks to Gerard Martin)
"You like men kissing your ass, don't you Vince?" - Paul Heyman, Smackdown November 15 2001. (thanks to Gerard Martin)
"Go ahead it's a nice looking ass." - Vince encouraging William Regal to join the Kiss My Ass Club, Raw November 19 2001. (thanks to Gerard Martin)
"On this night 25 years ago, from the testicles of Vince McMahon himself came something so horrifying it sends chills up and down the bodies of men all over the world: tonight marks the birth of Stephanie McMahon." - The Rock, Raw, Septmeber 24 2001. (thanks to Gerard Martin)
"Since you call yourself the Nature Boy, that (raises) a question I've always wanted to ask you: What exactly is a "nature boy"? Do you like nature? Do you like boys?" - Steve Austin to Ric Flair, Raw, June 3 2002 (thanks to Gerard Martin)
Bobby Heenan commenting on Hoagan’s entrance music
Heenan: That’s my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I’m almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.
“Who’s that, the windbreaker?” — Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.
“ohhh yeah, dig it!” — Randy Savage
“He’s going to audition for the Vienna Boys’ Choir!” — Gorilla Monsoon
Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: “They look like to carp going after the same piece of corn.”
Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change: “It’s just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago…GET THE MONEY!”
“Who dat dere’s gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?” — “Dirty” Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan
Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: “I once asked him what came at the end of the sentance… and he said “parole”.”
“He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!” — Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink
“NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!” — King Kong Bundy
“Dusty Rhodes wouldn’t win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he’d win for MOST abs.”– Jesse Ventura
Paul E. commenting on War Games: “This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound.”
Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: “I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?”
Gorilla: “Sure. It means red, rich, full…”
Brian: Nope…it means lard.
“The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children” — Gorilla Monsoon
Bobby H. on the Ultimate Warrior: “This guy makes coffee nervous.”
“Do you have any bald ice cream?” — Bobby H.
“I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable, or mineral.” — Jim Cornette
“Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a strecher? NO! I got right up and walked out!” — Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn’t wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries.
“Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!” —
“I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White.” — Scotty “The Body” Anthony
Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff’s singing: “If you hung him for being a good singer, you’d be hanging an innocent man!”
Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: “Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!”
Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: “Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!”
Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters: “I see the rodeo’s in town again.”
“Hey! Everyone look at me! I’m the BAD guy” — The Dimond Studd
“I’m going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!” — Cactus Jack
“Hollywood Joohn Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day! — Scotty Anthony”
“Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler’s physique!” — Scott Anthony
“The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!” — GWF announcer Anderson
I’m so quick,m Icould spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old ladie behind me!” — “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Bobby H on the Rossati sisters: “The only thing they recognize is a buffet”
“I’m just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over.” — Scotty Anthony
“Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24″ pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?” — Hulk Hogan
Bobby H on Frankie (Koko’s bird): “If he was in my house, he’d be in a shake ‘n’ bake bag.”
“Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!” — Larry Zybisco
“This is for all the little Stingers” — Cactus Jack
“I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning.” — Sgt. Slughter after burning Hogan’s face
“I guess you could call that poetry in motion.” — Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his oetry plate.
“What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won’t.” — Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros’ finisher
“Macho madness lives forver!” — Randy S.
“Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I’d like to know. You weren’t there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren’t.” — Randy Savege on Elizabeth being at WMVII
“Missy is really a man. She’s a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other’s back.” — Paul E.
“Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers.” — Bobby H on Lou Ferign’s speach impediment
“The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are.” — Jim Cornette
“You cannot believe the mayhem!” — Lance Russel after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring.
Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: “Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again.”
Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness’ Book of
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop…
“You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car.” — Bobby H
” Do you know Koko B. Ware’s mom’s first name? Tupper.” — (For thhe 20 septillionth time) — Bobby H
Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: “He’s as strong as an ox…and ALMOST as smart!”
Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer: “I see you got a crew cut…and the crew never came back!”
“The Barbarian’s shoes are Hair Jordans” — Bobby H
“He’s so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords.” — Jim Cornette
I’m just thisclose to that world’s heavyweight championship belt.” — Rusty Brooks
“I’ll hit you so hard you’ll starve to death rolling.” — Jim Garvin
“Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn.” — – Jim Cornette
“I can’t jump high, so I jump from high places.” — Cactus Jack
“Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of.” — Road Warrior Hawk
“It could be….Giant Baba!” — Jack Tunney on who “Giant Machine” might be.
“I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I’m 50 years old.” — Bob Backlund
“You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!” — Gorilla Monsoon
“Want a hot dog, McMahon?” — Jesse Ventura
“Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain’t got no hair on his chest? The only one who’s got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper.” — Roddy Piper
“I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn’t emotion, it was his liver!” — Cactus Jack
“Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!” — Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon
“They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!” — The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express
“Real men wear kilts.” — Roddy Piper
“Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him.” — Bobby Heenan
“The pleasure was all yours.” — Jesse Ventura
“I would rather hurt a man than love a woman.” — Cactus Jack
“I’ve hung & I’ve bung…” — Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense
“Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling.” — Rowdy Roddy Piper
“Often immitated, but never duplicated!” — Captain Lou Albano
“Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling.” — Roddy Piper on Ric Flair
“$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!” — Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair
“Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown – DA DA DUM – Imperial Margerine – and talks about what he’s going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you’re going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!” — Roddy Piper
Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:
Gorilla: He’s quite lethargic.
Bobby: And slow.
“Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling.” — Roddy Piper
“When’s the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?” — Bobby Heenan on Beefcake
Roddy Piper on Warlord & his facemask: “He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers…”
Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: “Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?”
“It was my pork chop. But that’s ok. I ate his dog food.” — Bam Bam Bigelow
“I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater.” — “Ravishing” Rick Rude
“Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He’s probably drowning from the size of his nose running.” — Roddy Piper
Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: “He’s the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs.”
“I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircut…$1 for each side.” — Scotty the Body Anthony
“Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can’t walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?” — Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig’s sexuality
“I’m the only man you wouodn’t want to wrestle…if I was in shape.” — Billy Whatson
“When we’re done with you’ it’ll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!” — The Road Warriors in their AWA days
“He has a lower occipital proturbance!” — Gorilla Monsoon
“If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I’d climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world.” — Cactus Jack
“Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don’t worry woman, he’s still a fox.” — Roddy Piper
“I see you have wavey hair….its waveing goodbye!” — Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF anouncer
“He has a calsium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from Havard, and a PhD from Oxford. He’s a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene.” — Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer
“Thats where he had the word “Goodyear” dermabrased off.” — Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode’s birthmark
“To be that man, you’ve got to beat the man. Woooo!” — Ric Flair
“Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!” — Jesse Ventura
“Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?” — Roddy Piper
“Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?” — Roddy Piper on Flair’s nickname
“Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!” — Ric Flair
(After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper’s Pit): “Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.” — “Rowdy” Roddy Piper